I Love You Bart It's Not Right
by Bartimus Thadmus
Summary: Bart meets Rose, his beloved from the other spectrum of morality.


Title: I LOVE YOU BART IT'S NOT RIGHT

Summary: Bart meets Rose, his beloved from the other spectrum of morality.

Author's note: Yeah, all 'but's have been changed to 'bart's in this story.

1 minute 21 seconds. That was all the time needed for him to reach Paris from upstate New York, take down two burglars dressed and acting impeccably like mimes. Next stop, he hit Africa to save a baby elephant from being the victim of heartless and cruel poaching. Two hooks to the abdomen apiece for the callous natives who set to depopulate Africa's unique fauna specimen. He paused for a split second, just long enough to make himself visible to the naked eye of Nelson Mandela before zooming off to the one place he absolutely wants to be at. Somewhere crime will just take a break for an hour or two, bart Batman had made it clear, he have to be back within two seconds after his JLA signal rang.

"Like I give a packet of chips about that darn signal," Bart mused. "Manchester, Alabama. Welcome your golden boy…no, golden man, back! Jeez, must remember I'm not a kid anymore."

The aged florists picked up her mug and took a sip of lemon juice while she felt a tremendous breeze shook her flower stand. Instinctly, she shot up and allowed the mug to drop to the floor, broken into smithereens. Stunned and with adrenaline pumping through her body, the florist glanced about her confined and restrictive store. The iridescent lighting from her overhead light panels revealed a crumpled 50 dollars bill and after she had fully regained her senses, she realized her new bouquet of roses had disappeared into thin air.

"Rose gonna love this bunch of…roses. I am such a charmer," he smirked to himself while moving at 1200 miles per minute, just a tad slower than his normal speed bart he did not want to seem too flustered in front of Rose. He knew his long maroon hair is a lost cause already. Running across half the planet with an open-hair cowl seemed cool at first, now he knows better.

"Now I'm running on water…woah, I love this feeling. Can Batman do this? Oh hell, no!" Bart thought as he made his way across the so-called Bermuda Triangle.

2 seconds late. It's 9:30:02. "Better than grandpa though. He's usually at least 2 minutes late. I'm a saint in comparison."

He found a clean bench to rest on. It was an extremely breezy night and a luminous moon hanging overhead, all the perfect ingredients nature can offer to perfect his night with the Titan's arch nemesis. He knows this is wrong and immoral. Ethically, he should be arresting her, bart he has a vague idea of moral decency. The old and rusted watchtower has a musty and unpleasant reek which Bart is starting to realized, and he did not like it. Nothing ruins his night. He groaned, got up and ran in circles, at the speed of sound, creating a whirlwind and removing all the rust on the tower and directing all of it into a dumpster nearby. Quick trip to the store got him a can of air freshener. Lavander with a tinge of lemongrass. "Goddamn, talk about extreme makeover," Bart muttered and conveniently hiding the can of freshener behind the bench, out of sight and not being a blight on this beautiful night.

"Nice trick, Allen. That was cute." A voice took him by surprise from the shadow. She materialized from the darkness, costume and all with her juicy lips with a sensual sheen curling in her own erotic manner. Her figure was still impeccable, as always.

"H-hey there, R-r-r-r-r-rrrrrose," Bart stuttered pathetically.

"Aww, just shut up, Bart. I want a tough, alpha male, not a stuttering kid with maturity issues and can't greet his secretive, supervillian, sexy girlfriend properly."

"Sorry there, in all intents and purposes, I am really just about only 6 years' old."

"Bart I do like your matured, macho man façade. A wee boy in a sexy ass body, I like it. I like it bad…"

"Like MJ?"

"What the hell is MJ?"

"I'm pretty sure MJ is a 'who' not a 'what'. Didn'tcha hear anything about MJ before?"

"No." She said coolly with a hint of frustration.

"Bart you said you like 'it bad'. Like MJ."

"I think you should shut up a little here, Bart."

" 'Right, that's what Superboy always tells me. Bart I like to talk… a personal favourite pastime of mine. Keeps me—" He was interrupted by Rose grabbing him by his yellow, spandex suit at the collar and sank her juicy, luminous lips into his open mouth. Bart remembered what Superboy told him about smooching. He immediately went for the action plan and allowed his gloved hands to roam over Rose's armour-plated, firm and muscular lower back. Rose moved his hands from the hostile grabbing action to a more lovingly one of grabbing his maroon hair with one hand and another hand to grasp his lower back, pulling him closer to her. Bart shut his eyes and let his emotions took over, from the lower back, one hand went to her white, bleached hair to ruffle her hair. Another hand to her taut and perfectly designed buttocks. There was an obvious but fairly subtle jerking from Rose as an unison and identical soft groan escaped from both their locked lips.

"HOT DAMN, BART!" Rose exclaimed as they finally parted.

"Thanks, Rose, I hope that's a compliment."

"Compliment? You almost killed me! That was some damn good smooching Bart, who taught you that?"

Bart immediately recalled the day that Superboy decided to educate him about how to 'hook a hot babe'. Not something he would want to tell Rose about.

"Rose, Superboy told me what's next after making out which we just did. It's sex now, isn't it?" Bart blurted out. 'SHIT! WHAT DID I JUST SAID?'

Rose looked flabbergasted. "That's not what I meant, Rose. Uh…I wasn't thinking. You know. That's me, can't think, no, I can think…just too fast, can't control. Superboy is a jerk, should have believed Robin. I'm sorry. Are you offended? I'm turning into Travis Bickle now? I'm not even supposed to watch that movie. Oooops, why am I babbling about all this nonsense in front of my date? D'oh! By the way, what exactly is sex? I've no clue about that kind of things." The bombardment ended with Bart thoroughly embarrassed while Rose was secretly suppressing an explosion of mirth.

"Bart…"Rose began. Her tone was soft and gentle, unlike her normal tone.

"OH! Is sex like something to be blow with?" Bart yelled out out of the blues.

"What the fuck are you talking about? That's so wrong!"

"I mean I've heard about this music creating thingy called a sax, derived from saxophone. You blow it and music comes out."

"Bart, shut the fuck up." And he did. Rose smirked and embraced him, "While you were going off like a bullet back then, your signal rang." Bart's eyes opened wide in shock.

"Don't move…listen. Either you rush off to your super lame-o team now and fight the same old retards like Doomsday or The Mad Hatter…or we proceed to the next phase Superboy taught you right here, right now."

Not the end…


End file.
